So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
