Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
