I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
