she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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