I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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