she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I hate all girls vehemently.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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