I am puke
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
