did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
