nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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