Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
