That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
