I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
