He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
