Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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