I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
