Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
