I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
