Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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