I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
