You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
