How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
