Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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