I am puke
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
