It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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