We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize