I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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