that's an acceptable place to lick
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
