Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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