i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
