I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i think we sleep fucked last night...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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