So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
