So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
