You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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