Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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