u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
