just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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