It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
