its not stalking. its research.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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