Do you still have your period?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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