Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She bit a glass in half.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
