you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
