But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
