kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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