so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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