I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
