Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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