they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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