all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
it's great music for shaving your balls
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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