I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
they're like a gay fantastic four
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
