And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
