He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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