that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
