I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
