There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
