Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
