you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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