Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
