I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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