I looked at my own cervix.
i love accidental penises.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
