if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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