Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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