i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
