It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
