so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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