Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
