cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
