we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
