Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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