I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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