3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize