I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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