Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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