Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize