he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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