I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
