Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
