brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she peed on how many people?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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